The resolution revolution

January typically brings a flurry of resolutions and promises to ourselves and others about how we’ll change. We feel motivated and certain that this year will be the year we finally make those changes.

Then the boiler breaks, or work gets overwhelming, or someone gets ill and we wake up in March feeling absolutely shattered and wondering why we thought any of this was a good idea.

I don't think this happens because people are lazy or undisciplined. I think resolutions fall by the wayside because we’re led to believe that change happens in a straight upwards line, that we'll have energy and motivation everyday once we get started, and that nothing will get in our way.

Frankly, this is nonsense. Life is fundamentally messy. The unexpected can and will happen. When we’re setting goals for the new year, it can be helpful to take an approach that acknowledges this.

Before we talk about what you want to do in 2026, it’s important to reflect on what you did in 2025. You will have changed over the past year. Maybe not in obvious ways but you will have changed.

If you really think about how the year has gone, what do you notice? Are you more honest about your limits now? Do you react less when someone criticises you? Have you become better at letting a friendship fade without feeling like you've done something wrong? The chances are, no one will have noticed those changes, but it doesn’t mean they don’t matter.

Spend a few minutes thinking about one way you've changed this year that someone looking at your life from the outside wouldn't necessarily spot.

This matters because it tells you something about where your values are pulling you, rather than where you think they should be pulling you. It also reminds you that you're capable of growth, even if it sometimes feels like nothing's changed.

Most goal-setting doesn't work

Traditional goal-setting advice assumes that everything will go smoothly and is fixated on outcomes like losing weight or getting a promotion. This is all fine, except outcomes can sometimes be outside of your control. You can do everything right and still not get to what you want. It also often focuses on what you want without asking what you're willing to change to get there and treats obstacles as failures rather than as a part of the process.

A more effective way to set goals

Start with what matters to you. Instead of asking yourself, "What do I want to achieve?", ask yourself what kind of life you want to be living. What do you care about? What do you want more of? If connection matters to you, you might like to set yourself a goal about making time for the people who count, rather than forcing yourself to be more sociable generally. If creativity matters, find an hour a week for making things, regardless of whether you produce anything worth showing anyone.

If you want to be more organised, think about how that will improve your life.

Your goals should serve what matters to you otherwise, you're just ticking other people’s boxes.

Plan for things to go wrong

I’ve been a coach for a while, and I can tell you that things will go wrong. If you've prepared for this happening in advance, you're less likely to bin the whole thing off when something doesn't go to plan.

When you’re setting your goals, think about what's likely to get in the way. How will you handle it when that happens? What will you do when other stuff demands your attention?

Think about direction rather than destination

Some days you'll make progress on your goals and some days you won't. Some days you'll feel like you’re going backwards. That's completely normal. When you feel like you’re not making progress, ask yourself, "Am I still generally moving towards what matters to me?"

Detours are allowed and you're allowed to change your mind or have days where you do absolutely nothing towards your goals. Just keep moving in your valued direction.

Check in regularly

You need to look at the goals you’ve set for yourself every so often and ask: does this still make sense? Is this still important to me? What needs to change?

Your goals in January might look completely different to your goals in June. You're allowed to learn things and adjust accordingly.

Goal setting prompts

Here are some questions to consider as you move into the new year:

What do I genuinely want more of in my life? (Not what I think I should want. What do I actually want?)

What am I prepared to have less of so this can happen?

What's one small thing I could do this week that moves me towards what matters?

If I'm looking back at the end of 2026, what would I like to be able to say about how I lived this year?

What help do I need to keep moving in this direction?

Don't rush to answer these. Sit with them. Let them percolate for a bit.

Onwards

The new year doesn't have any special powers and nothing magical happens at midnight on 31st December. You can make changes starting on any day of the year. You've already been doing it throughout 2025.

Move towards what matters even when it's hard and notice the small changes alongside the big wins. Those small changes have power.

Thinking about making a change?

If these words have resonated with you, I warmly invite you to book a free 30-minute introductory session so you can explore how coaching can help you to move forwards, . Click here to book an appointment.