Messy mindfulness

cathyedencoaching
May 27
6 min read

Meditation Month is celebrated in May each year, and it’s always something I want to shout about. I’m a big fan of mindfulness meditation because it helped me change my life.

Those who know me might not think of me as a meditator. They’d be right, kind of. I’ve never been one for sitting serenely for hours, cross-legged, mindfully focusing on my breath.

You’re much more likely to find me taking a few moments on a busy bus or a supermarket queue to slow down my breath or bring myself back into the present moment when I feel like everything’s moving too fast or my mind is churning away.

I never thought I'd become a meditator. You can read about how meditation came into my life at a time of personal crisis - and how it helped me here.

For many people, mindfulness meditation is loaded with mystique and preconceived ideas that can make it feel inaccessible. If we're able to strip that away, it has the potential to be truly life-changing.

There's no need for perfect posture, "zen dens", or hours of free time. You can meditate wherever you are, whoever you are and however you are. Messy life, messy thoughts and all.

You don’t just need to take my word for it. To pick just a few stats, research shows that meditation can reduce chronic pain by 40-50% (Zeidan et al., 2011), decrease anxiety symptoms by an average of 60% (Goyal et al., 2014), and reduce depression symptoms by 43% (Khoury et al., 2013). These aren't just numbers in a report. They’re real people who’ve genuinely felt better in their daily lives after practising meditation.

What can we do if we're familiar with these benefits but life is busy and our minds are chaotic? What if meditation feels like just another thing to add to our endless to-do lists? I know that feeling and I want to help you out.

Messiness 101

Before we dive into the practical how-to's, where's and what's of accessible meditation, there’s an important concept that I want to explain.

Ancient traditions acknowledge that to be human is to be messy and imperfect. Our busy, wandering minds aren't problems to solve, but rather, they're a great starting point for practice.

Have you ever tried to meditate and noticed your mind starts running a commentary in your head? That's not a meditation failure. That's exactly what you're working with!

The magic of meditation doesn't happen when your mind becomes perfectly still (spoiler alert: it probably won't). The magic happens in those moments when you notice your mind has wandered off and you gently, kindly guide it back. That's the practice. That wandering mind isn't your enemy, it's your teacher.

If you've ever thought you're "bad at meditation" because your mind won't be still, good news! There's no such thing as being bad at meditation. What matters is showing up as you are, noisy minds and all.

When most of us think of meditation we picture someone sitting serenely for hours. It suits some people, and if that’s you, great! Go to it! There are loads of resources out there to enjoy.

If that’s not you, meditation can also look like just three minutes of practice that could make a big difference to your day. Read on for some easy and effective ways to be more mindful.

The 3-minute rule

Set a timer for three minutes (I use the timer on my phone). Find a comfortable spot and notice your breathing if that feels comfortable. You can do this anywhere. My favourite places are in my room before work and while my tea brews in the morning.

Notice the rise and fall of your stomach as you breathe in and out. Notice the colder air as it comes into your body and the warmer air as you breathe out.

As you sit and pay attention to your breathing, your mind will almost certainly start to wander during those three minutes.

When you find yourself making a shopping list, replaying an awkward conversation, or wondering if you're doing it "right”, gently guide your attention back to your breathing.

Think of it like training a sweet puppy. You wouldn't be annoyed with the puppy for being curious, you'd lovingly redirect it.

On some days those three minutes might feel peaceful and go slowly. On other days your mind might feel like a whirlwind of thoughts and three minutes is up before you know it. Both responses are valid meditation experiences. The aim isn't to achieve a state of mental emptiness. The point is to practice being present with whatever is happening in your inner world.

Mindful walking

Whether you're walking around the park or trudging in to work, try to focus on how your feet feel as they hit the ground. Pay attention to the swing of your arms, the temperature of the air on your face, and the swoosh of tree branches in the breeze. If you get distracted by your to-do list as you walk, that’s ok. Just notice that happening and return to the sensations of walking. You're giving your brain a gentle break from the mental chatter, even if that break gets interrupted.

Mindful eating

Try taking the first three bites of any meal slowly. Really taste it and feel the texture. Notice the temperature. Will you forget and start scrolling your phone by bite four? Probably! That's completely ok. Notice when it happens and maybe try again with your next meal. These imperfect moments of attention add up.

Mobile mindfulness

Often, our phones pull us away from being in the present moment and into mindless scrolling. That said, they can also help us with meditation when used intentionally.

For example, we can listen to recordings of meditations on apps like Spotify and Insight Timer There's something reassuring about having a gentle voice guide you through a practice, especially when you're just starting out and wondering if you're "doing it right."

Having these resources at your fingertips means you can practice anywhere, anytime, however imperfectly. Feeling worried before a meeting? There's a five-minute guided meditation for that. Can't sleep? There's a body scan for you. If you get interrupted halfway through, that's ok. Just restart when you can.

It's not about perfection

As you become more familiar with meditation, your practice becomes your own. Maybe you'll be someone who loves the routine of sitting still at the same time every day, or perhaps you're like me and prefer to drop into a short practice when you need it. Some people are morning meditators, others find evening practice more soothing. Some days you'll feel calm, other days you'll feel scattered. All of it counts.

Approach this as a friendly experiment with no wrong answers. Try different approaches and notice what makes you think "That felt good, even though I got a bit distracted." That's your practice right there.

When you inevitably do get distracted or feel like you're terrible at it (because you're human), treat yourself with the same kindness you'd show a dear friend. Remember: there's no meditation police. Every moment is a fresh opportunity to begin again.

Mindfulness isn't about perfection. It's about coming back to the present moment with curiosity and compassion, as many times as it takes. Each return is a small victory, each imperfect practice session is exactly enough.

I've witnessed many "light bulb" moments when the people I work with discover that being in contact with their messy, imperfect inner experience is exactly where growth happens.

While mindfulness is just one piece of the supportive toolkit I offer, it can sometimes become the foundation that makes everything else more effective. It's not because it makes people perfect, but because it helps them embrace their perfectly imperfect humanity.

Mindful meditation creates breathing room both literally and figuratively. It helps people develop a pause between feeling triggered and reacting. It helps people open up space to make conscious choices, rather than acting in “automatic pilot” mode. Just like meditation itself, that pause doesn't have to be elegant or serene. Sometimes it's messy, sometimes it's brief, and sometimes it feels like chaos. All of it is valid.